The perfect vehicle for apocalyptic survival

In Short Cuts by Kieran Bicknell

The current COVID-19 situation is prompting lockdowns across the globe; With views of the Contagion movie on the up, many people are jokingly referring to the situation as the ‘Apocalypse’ – this is, of course, complete nonsense. 

But just in case the apocalypse did come knocking though, here are my four choices that may just be the ticket to riding it out in safety, comfort and a modicum of style.

The Ariel Nomad – The world-famous Atoms’ bigger, chunkier and brasher brother; The Nomad builds upon the Ariel Atoms’ famous ‘exoskeleton’ construction and paired-back nature while delivering off-road abilities and rapid escape times far beyond your expectations. Outboard long-travel suspension allows almost any terrain to be tackled, while the 235 bhp Honda engine with i-VTEC ensures a speedy escape from anyone that dares try to take your toilet paper or pasta stash. It is even 2- seat only, so complies with the current rules around social distancing!

The SHERP – Perhaps this may be an unfamiliar name to you. If so, you’d be far from alone. The SHERP is an obscure go-anywhere, do-anything all-terrain-vehicle (ATV) used by rescue teams and scientist around the globe to access remote locations and hostile environments. Capable of wading through bogs, scaling obstacles with up to a 35-degree angle, crossing water thanks to intelligent buoyancy aids and it’s water-tight hull, and carry up to a 1000kg total load capacity; This is a serious bit of kit for the end of days. It’s frugal too, with a stated consumption of 2-3 litres of diesel per hour from its 50-litre tank. Just don’t expect to be getting anywhere quickly – it only has a top speed of 27.9mph… perhaps one for the more cautious people amongst us.

The Unimog – Over the last 80 years, this vehicle in various guises has been an iconic sight. The Daimler – AG / Mercedes Unimog is ubiquitous in service and emergency guises, being the vehicle of choice for fire crews, ski resorts, farmers and railroads to access any off-grid or difficult terrain. The high ground clearance and short chassis length allow almost any surfaces to be conquered, while the ladder chassis and adaptable nature of the Unimog mean you can configure it for practically any use. The panoramic cab of the latest models offer fantastic visibility. At the same time, the central tyre inflation system means you can adapt for upcoming terrain without ever having to leave the safe isolation of the cabin – perfect for the current climate. It shifts too – with a six-cylinder, 354bhp engine option available putting out 1200nm of torque, it won’t break any speed records. Still, it’ll be more than enough for any post-apocalypse situations.

The Mercedes Benz/ Brabus 6×6 – If the Unimog was the sensible choice on this list, the Brabus 6×6 could not be further from it. Powered by an obscene AMG V8 Biturbo putting out 690bhp and 708 lb/ft of torque through it’s 6×6 AWD system, this is off-road opulence of the highest order. Designer leather, smatterings of Alcantara, heated/vented electronically adjustable seating and top-of-the-range infotainment. All to ensure you’ll be isolated in style, while the low-range box, locking diffs, remote tyre inflation system and a 0-60time of 4.4 seconds ensure you’ll be able to tackle most situations and run away from those you can’t drive over. This vehicle is the perfect choice for those looking to splash their end-of-the-world cash stash and look good in the process.

So there we have it, my current vehicles of choice for a post-apocalyptic wasteland, covering everything from the bare-bones necessity of the SHERP to the extravagance of the Brabus 6×6. Apocalypse? Bring it on!

Kieran Bicknell

Motoring writer

Kieran Bicknell offers his fresh take on car reviews by making the most of his dynamic, yet detailed approach to writing. Having graduated from university with a BA (Hons) in Photography and spending a number of years as a freelance automotive photographer. Kieran is now putting his knowledge and writing skills to use, with the ability to supply both written articles and imagery. Kieran feels at home in anything from small superminis to the latest SUVs, and relishes the opportunity to drive, photograph and write about anything with four wheels.